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If Only

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Swords-and-Bandages

Published: Feb 13, 2009

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Literature Text

If only the rain would stop falling,
So that my face will not be drenched
If I look somewhere other than down.
If only the sky cleared to reveal
The shining eye of heaven, so that
I can know I am not forsaken.
If only I could stop from playing that song
Reminding me of the treasure I cannot grasp,
Of the woman I stand far away from.
If only I could sleep, to forget my toil
And my troubles, and wake up after
I have forgotten all about myself.
If only the snow came to shroud this city
So I can take joy in its white gleam,
Its numbing cold, and reflect my smile
In the ice-covered sidewalk.
If only all knowledge fled from men's mind,
And no secret could stab me deeply
Like stilettos that assassinate my spirit.
If only I could run, run so fast that time
Will not ravage my hope, so fast that
I can leave her in my past, behind me.
If only I could stop from writing these poems,
A foolish man’s inarticulate verses
That shames the name of “poet.”
If only I could stop seeing you in my mind,
Every hour, every second, every day, every minute.
If only I could stop loving.

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Something I thought about after listening to “Ojalá” by Silvio Rodríguez. Sometimes, I do feel like this. Right now, I can't tell how I feel. Maybe I'm just fine. Maybe I need sleep. I don't know.