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If OnlyIf only the rain would stop falling,
So that my face will not be drenched
If I look somewhere other than down.
If only the sky cleared to reveal
The shining eye of heaven, so that
I can know I am not forsaken.
If only I could stop from playing that song
Reminding me of the treasure I cannot grasp,
Of the woman I stand far away from.
If only I could sleep, to forget my toil
And my troubles, and wake up after
I have forgotten all about myself.
If only the snow came to shroud this city
So I can take joy in its white gleam,
Its numbing cold, and reflect my smile
In the ice-covered sidewalk.
If only all knowledge fled from men's mind,
And no secret could stab me deeply
Like stilettos that assassinate my spirit.
If only I could run, run so fast that time
Will not ravage my hope, so fast that
I can leave her in my past, behind me.
If only I could stop from writing these poems,
A foolish mans inarticulate verses
That shames the name of poet.
If only I could stop seeing you in
Temptation- Thirty-Nine NightsThirty-nine nights I've stayed awake,
Sin and temptation I can't forsake;
My soul cries to the sky for release,
Another hour feels too much to take.
My eyes stay open in a hope to appease,
Praying for an end, I fall on my knees.
The sky but echoes my calls for aid,
Death may come before I rest at ease.
Thirst and hunger haunt my shade,
My neck lies below the devil's blade;
Just one stroke and my will shall break,
Somebody save me, for I am afraid.
Fortune passed me to leave pain in its wake;
My path is uncertain, my fate opaque.
Another hour feels too much to take,
Thirty-nine nights I've stayed awake.
Heart's OceanThe tempest past with no sound
Last night when ships came, tied down
Morning came and drove the rain
Away, though the clouds still remain
My ship, my battered and old home
She calls me once again to roam
Though the wind, quiet as a mouse
Can barely move the sail of my house
Undaunted, the anchor weighs itself
She sails off, gliding, without help
The wind whispers, the way is slow
I know not where my home will go
The day is long; let the winds point my way
My compass and my sextant, stowed away
I must let the wind guide me, wherever it goes
Even though it may cast me in the storm's throes
Just last night, I ran from the rain, seeking safety
I sought the wind too hard; been blinded lately
The storm tore my clothes, the waves chilled me
Down into my core, splashing wildly
My will fits not the sea-chart
Who knows the ways of ocean's heart
Trust in the wind, and I may find
That place where the land is kind
Until then I will sail alone
The wind will tell me, carry on
Gone are the days I soug
Only Heroes Cry AloneOnly heroes cry alone.
How they feel cannot be shown.
Right until their duties end
They hide their feelings and pretend
To others they are invincible,
But their hearts are invisible.
On their integrity you can depend
But their souls you wont comprehend
Heroes come to make your day,
They save you and youre on your way.
But at night they can only pray
For they walk a dying way
They fall down and weep in woe,
For in sadness they all do know:
Integrity is at its demise
It shall fall and never rise
The pain they bear will not be known;
Only heroes cry alone.
Glass Towera message to those
whose fingers mud does not touch
remember who made
your towers of glass and steel
who sit outside your walls still
because on a day
when greeds fruit is undone
by your own clean hands
the still will stir and stand tall
to hurl mud on your visage
Restaurant Restroom RhapsodyI-- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to run away,
Turn you aside or leave you in the cold.
My thoughts were scrambled too fast
For me to react calmly,
Take it all in stride
And just nod as the truth came.
The rhythm of my thoughts
Just fell apart; the wineglass I was holding
Would have too, were it not for the inside of my head
Holding a vague idea
Of what was coming.
The main course must have arrived by now;
But I don't feel hungry, even though I know
The lasagna here
Leaves little room for words
How could I have not known who--
The signs were obvious, looking back.
My loins let me believe whatever I wanted to believe,
Blanking out intuition,
The cold faucet water
Helps me keep my thoughts straight, and prevent
Waves of panic from capsizing me.
How I wish it was vodka instead,
So I could drink
Don't look at me like that. Makes me edgy
When someone makes me feel in the wrong,
When you let me know I'm the one at fault.
I wish I could blame
No Price is Too Steep"No price is too steep to defend what is ours,
Sovereignty flows only from force of arms;
The motherland beckons us to stake our claims,
To fight for honor, glory, camaraderie, and fame."
Well, at least that's what they said on the posters.
Right now, in the dark, we don't think about it much;
Camaraderie maybe, because we all want to survive.
One more skirmish, one more patrol,
One more objective, that's all we see.
Maybe we'll wake up, maybe fall asleep,
Some pray to God for their souls to keep,
Some just hope they're not in too deep.
"If we fall the ground is forever of our country,
A sweet, fitting end fulfilling our duty;
Those who outlive the day and go home
Will stand tall in glory on history's tomes."
Poets speak truth and poets lie;
Truth lives long but lies don't die.
What cost to a man for survival's price?
I don't know much and I care much less:
Thinking anymore of it isn't worth my time.
Fighting has no honor, fighting's no crime.
Metal in his head and medals on his chest;
The Spacer's SongI see infinity lying at my fingertips
When the moon rises and the stars quip
In their speechless tongue,
Measured in nanometers and wrung
From the union of basic simplicity,
The language of our complicity
In mysteries billions of times
Beyond our scale and sublime
Before our minds ever existed:
We are small, yet we persisted
In walking out of ourselves
Into foreign gravities, to delve
Deeper into the words stars shine
Into our eyes and trace their lines
Back to the beginning, so that one day
We may see a foreign sunrise and say
"It's beautiful" in the company
Of others from another place, and finally
Know why everything came to be.
I don't understand the words reaching me,
But trusting the possibilities of their meaning
I continue in observing the sky and freeing
My fellows from the surly bonds of Earth;
For their meaning I'll give all I'm worth.
Ode to a FlowerA single orchid blue blooms in my room,
For long its kind face by the light has stood.
A flowers longevity Ive misunderstood,
For its companions a quick wilt assumed;
As soon as they bloomed from their bud, their womb
To behold the light as long as they could,
The laws of nature proclaimed that they should
Fall down and fade into an inglorious tomb.
For a long time I pondered on the truth:
With this one flower what had nature meant?
Slowly the answer to my question came:
My other passions came quickly and went,
Save for you but you dont feel the same;
You are my flower, blue my love for you.
I am...Through my eyes,
The abyss flows.
A gentle breeze,
A stream of shadow.
The masking cover,
The cloak of night,
It hides my actions,
And shows your fright.
This revealing light
Shall be snuffed out.
And your pleas muffled,
Every single shout.
I come for you,
And I come for your soul.
Clothed in darkness,
To swallow you whole.
I am the end,
I am your fear.
Yet your frightened breathing
Is all you hear.
I am death.
To: MyselfAs the sun rises,
It starts a new day -
We make of it as we choose,
So stop dwelling,
For it makes you hurt -
Sometimes you just need to move on,
No matter how much it hurts.
FallaciousYou believe you
speak of truth
yet all I see
Your acid tongue
on my skin
for every single
word you've spoken.
You can only
so much of
your own reality
just to save face.
June 29th, 2010
WordsWords of the world that can't be spoken.
Words that can't be broken.
Words as a single promise once kept.
Words living in the moment lifelines running through our veins.
Words that bring Memories once had fading in a gaze.
Words meant to be.
Beneath cold skinThe frozen façade that you present,
of cold disregard and cruel contempt,
hides purest lakes of feelings true.
Fragile love in the purest blue
lies deeply scarred 'neath icy defence.
TranceYou're off my mind
And I'm smiling
I think of the last time
I was this happy
The smile fades away
When I remember
That it was with you.
Driving down the road
Late into the summer night
Our song comes on
Before I can turn it off
My mind is gone
I'm as good as lost
As memories come back
My love for you is still there
I only wish you still cared
We've gone through so much
I'd always feel safe by your touch
But it's never going to be the same
I lost in our love game
I hold my breath at your name
Held against my will
Present on a different plane
Wondering when I'll see you
When you'll turn around
Both hands on the wheel
As the night goes on
Lost in everything we did
I barely saw the headlights
Coming right at me
The semi barely fazed me
As we nearly hit turning
The white line growing closer
You aren't here to turn the wheel
Do you know I still exist?
I'll collide with anything that moves
Just to ascend to the heavens
And to just be with you
Even thought you're still alive
The distance still
BloomHow can a flower bloom into the unknown?
Is she just so pure that she doesn't know -
the pain of animals playing with her petals,
Or nibbling at the roots that keep her stable?
Why is it that she blooms with knowing all this?
Is there something more that I'm not getting?
Or is it that she just wants to live as much as she can -
Before the animals eat her away into the unknown.
The long goodbyeWill you ever know that feeling
when someone says goodbye
with a blow that leaves you reeling
and the days just will not fly.
Will you ever know that aching
from the heaviness inside
which hopeless thoughts are making
as you recall how much you cried.
Will you ever know that yearning
that things could be as they were
before life took sharp turning
causing dark suspicions to stir.
Will you ever know that sadness
about a friend or lover's decision
to abandon you forever
with clinical precision.
Have you ever known confusion
about signals coming through
that lead to wild delusion
ricocheting back to you.
Will you ever know that hurt
that you were badly used
and felt so undeserved
of that emotional bruise.
Will you ever know the heartache
when left alone to bleed
in sorrowful seclusion
your anguish now to feed
But now accept you've been rejected
by the one that love you gave
from harsh words you hear reflected
that will last until your grave.
Lament for the Death of DreamA Lament for the Death of a Dream
With waking eyes I saw it tear
the dream that clad my days for weeks.
Now all I've left are wretched rags,
as torn as those which orphans seek.
I watched the doe die during labour,
another Rose without a saviour.
Whose breast shall feed the hapless fawn?
Which dirge will chide the childless dawn?
Whose chant can quell its damp dolour?
Which doleful bard? Which troubadour?
'Tis a dire, dire, dire fate
that we should bear such hawthorn grief,
the kind that pricks us as we sleep
to rouse the pain buried beneath.
At dusk the pixie-folk arose
from forth their nests and foliate cots.
Yet when they saw the doe's drab husk
the sky fast turned dark and morose,
and 'midst despair and scent of musk
they watched the lemon moonlight rot.
With waking eyes I saw it tear
the dream that clad my days for weeks.
Now all I've left are buried rags,
as dead as those whom daisies weep.
For These Things I AmFor all the things I couldn't do,
For all my plans that fell through,
For the lies I told in lieu of truth,
I am sorrowful.
For all your tomorrows that wouldn't come,
For all my wrongs in their awful sum,
For the words I used that made you glum,
I am regretful.
For all the smiles you put on my face,
For all your beauty and all your grace,
For the warmth you gave in each embrace,
I am joyful.
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